Living with Roommates: Bathroom Etiquette & Supply Storage

My partner and I have lived together for our entire 11 and a half year relationship, including the almost five years since I got my ostomy. I haven't had roommates during this time, but I've often stayed with friends and family. What I've learned is that sharing a bathroom when you have an ostomy takes some planning and open communication.

My Biggest Bathroom Concern: The Smell

The smell has always been the hardest part for me. I don't like it and I feel self-conscious about it, even now. To help, I keep a deodorizing spray in the bathroom to clear the air. I also use small garbage bags that I can seal tightly to trap the smell before putting them in the trash or taking them outside.

Living with My Partner

My partner has always been loving and supportive about my ostomy. He helped me with supplies and figuring things out, and I feel lucky for that. Still, there were things I needed to learn to handle on my own.

The Nighttime Reality

I get up several times at night to empty my bag. I avoid turning on the light so I can stay sleepy, but sometimes I find a small spill or something on the toilet in the morning that I missed in the dark. I try to be careful and considerate of my partner by cleaning up in the morning. Sometimes I need to flush twice to make sure everything is gone.

Storing Supplies

I keep my supplies in the bathroom so they're always within reach. I organize everything I might need, including products for skin issues. When I travel, I bring my supplies and keep them close.

Staying at Friends' and Family's Houses

When I travel with friends or family, I let them know I might spend more time in the bathroom than usual. This helps set expectations. I also ask to sleep near the bathroom since I get up several times at night and need easy access.

If others need to use the bathroom, having a second one helps. If not, it's good to let people know if you'll be in there for a while so everyone can plan around it.

Emergency Situations: Leaks

I've had several leaks at night, whether at friends' houses, family, or at home. The first few times, I felt anxious, sad, and even guilty or ashamed. I would go straight to the shower to clean up.

Now I'm more used to it. I go on autopilot, head straight to the shower, clean up, and hope nothing got on the sheets. After almost five years, I've accepted that leaks happen, though I still feel a bit of shame when I don't catch them in time.

Managing Sounds and Smells

Sounds happen. Little farting sounds or something like that. The smells are the biggest challenge for me. Besides the deodorizing spray and sealed garbage bags I mentioned earlier, I just try to be aware of it and manage it as best I can.

Advice for Living with Others

My main advice is to remember you're not doing anything wrong if you spend more time in the bathroom. Sometimes friends or family comment on the smell or how long I'm in there. They don't mean any harm, but I still feel self-conscious about it.

I've learned that this is just part of life, and my ostomy lets me keep living. I feel lucky to be here. If it means others have to adjust a little, it's worth it. It helps to talk openly with roommates or others so they understand. Being upfront matters.